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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28020537">i was just coasting til we met</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/manusinistra/pseuds/manusinistra'>manusinistra</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>TWICE (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Lawyers, But there is a happy ending i swear, F/F, beware wild tonal shifts, this one's a bit of a ride</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 22:00:24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>15,285</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28020537</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/manusinistra/pseuds/manusinistra</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>What’s so special about Mina, Nayeon wonders. Decides to investigate.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Im Nayeon/Myoui Mina</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>147</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>579</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. I</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Nayeon has a ritual before each new trial.</p>
<p>She leaves her client with coffee and an intern and goes to the out-of-the-way bathroom on the courthouse’s third floor. Looking in the mirror at her reflection, she thinks about the case and how she can win it. Imagines what she’ll look like from the outside and then shapes herself into that person, bright and sharp and confident. </p>
<p>She’s done this so many times without interruption she’s come to think of that room as a personal sanctuary, hers by design rather than circumstance. </p>
<p>On a Tuesday before a fraud trial, this mindset carries her halfway across the room before she registers the presence of a second person. When she finally does she stops and stares, surprised out of all politeness.  </p>
<p>The intruder is about Nayeon’s height, standing before the mirror with head down and hair hiding her face. The pose conceals her identity but she feels more lawyer than defendant: from heels to hair to the tailored lines of her dress, everything about her is professional shading into sexy. Taking her in, innocence isn’t the first thing to come to Nayeon’s mind.  </p>
<p>It’s only after this thought Nayeon realizes 1) she should stop creeping on a random woman in a public bathroom, and 2) it’s weird that said woman hasn’t reacted to her yet. </p>
<p>So Nayeon takes a second, appraising look and finds that the woman’s hands are clenched around the counter, fingers gone white with the pressure of her grip. There’s a story here, maybe even a crisis, and Nayeon’s desire to banish the woman from her (not actually rightful) territory evaporates. </p>
<p>“Hey,” Nayeon says. “Are you ok?”</p>
<p>The woman’s head whips around. Her face is pale and her breath comes fast; everything about her screams <em>please leave now</em>. Nayeon doesn’t, of course. Leaving isn’t her way - once she’s found an awkward situation she sees it through to the end. </p>
<p>Also, more importantly, she recognizes the face behind the hair curtain. The intruder is Mina, indeed a lawyer and a newish coworker at JYP. She hasn’t made much of an impression yet – they've spoken twice and never about consequential things – but Nayeon’s not about to leave a junior in distress. </p>
<p>She takes a step forward and tries again. </p>
<p>“Can I do something to help?”</p>
<p>That snaps Mina out of whatever she was in. Her expression shutters, all trace of emotion giving way to careful, cultivated neutrality. </p>
<p>“I’m fine,” Mina says, voice blank as her face. “Thank you for your concern.”</p>
<p>“Are you sure? I’m not going to report you for weakness, or whatever. If I can help I want to.”</p>
<p>Nayeon frowns, and she’s never been able to frown without pouting, and though that’s inconvenient when she’d rather not look 10 years old it seems to soften Mina. </p>
<p>“I’m fine,” she says again, with more volume and conviction. “There was a setback with a case today. But really, I’m-” </p>
<p>“Fine,” Nayeon finishes for her. “So I’ve heard.”</p>
<p>Mina’s lips twitch in what might be a smile. They’re left facing each other in silence. </p>
<p>Nayeon should say something, probably, but the only words she can think of would end the conversation and she doesn’t want that. There are things to be discovered here, she’s sure of it, with the same intuition that’s led to her biggest wins. </p>
<p>(Also to her being thrown in a holding cell, but. Only once.) </p>
<p>Mina clears her throat.</p>
<p>“I won’t keep you. I saw you on the schedule for today. Good luck, though I’m sure you won’t need it.”</p>
<p>With that she bows and skirts out the door, leaving Nayeon to resume preparations. </p>
<p>;;</p>
<p>Nayeon’s case begins well and wraps up easily. By Friday it’s gone from her mind, absorbed into the never-ending flow of things to be done.</p>
<p>The same can’t be said for Mina. Nayeon keeps seeing her, waiting for the elevator at JYP, in line for lunch at a street food stall, and where she used to blend into the surroundings it’s like there’s a high contrast beam trained on her now. Nayeon can’t help but be curious: about the sharpness of her self control, about whatever broke it for a moment. She feels like a movie you’ve missed the first hour of, except Nayeon can’t rewind to make sense of her. </p>
<p>And Mina has no intention of explaining herself. </p>
<p>“How’s your day going?” Nayeon says when she finds Mina in the break room, hoping to ease into conversation. It feels impolite to ask “so what was your breakdown about?” before question three at the earliest.</p>
<p>Mina shrugs. </p>
<p>“Can you pass the sugar?” she says, and leaves as soon as her coffee is ready. </p>
<p>Nayeon tries to talk to her a few other times and Mina’s responses are always like that: short, functional, paving the way for escape. This is a clear signal of disinterest, Nayeon realizes, but instead of putting her off it kicks her stubbornness into overdrive. </p>
<p>Nayeon is good at talking. Most people are happy to talk to her, and the fact that Mina’s not sticks in her mind. </p>
<p>;;</p>
<p>At the firm’s weekly happy hour, Nayeon sits at the bar as usual with Jihyo and Jeongyeon. But her eyes flick over to Mina’s table, enough times for her friends to notice. </p>
<p>“Who’s got you distracted?” Jeongyeon says, sensing new blackmail material. She leans into Nayeon’s space and cranes her neck around, trying to match Nayeon’s eyeline.  </p>
<p>Nayeon jabs at her side with an elbow because Jeongyeon should know better than to pry while leaving weak points exposed. Jeongyeon yelps, expression all fake offense, and Nayeon sticks her tongue out in response. </p>
<p>“This is just the best position for the room to appreciate my incomparable beauty,” Nayeon says, framing her face with her hands. </p>
<p>Jihyo snorts and Jeongyeon gets up, mumbling about reaching her insanity threshold for the evening. </p>
<p>“For real though, what’s up?” Jihyo says once she’s gone. “You only get that obnoxiously vain when you’re hiding something.” </p>
<p>“Me? Hiding? I can’t believe you’d accuse your best friend of such a thing.”</p>
<p>Jihyo rolls her eyes. </p>
<p>“Nayeon. Talk. Now. ”</p>
<p>“Ok fine. What’s the deal with Mina?”</p>
<p>“Since when do you care? Last week someone mentioned her and your response was, and I quote: ‘she’s so boring I’m losing my will to live just thinking about her.’”</p>
<p>Nayeon winces. She did say that. She says a lot of things, especially Friday after work and a few drinks.  </p>
<p>“That was last week! The world is different now.”</p>
<p>“It’s amazing you ever win a case.”</p>
<p>Nayeon huffs, tempted to launch into an epic recounting of her courtroom highlights. This is drink number three, so she could probably turn them into a musical at this point. Momo is over in the corner; she would choreograph if Nayeon bribed her with food. </p>
<p>But no, focus. Mina is the point.</p>
<p>“I’ve never had anything against Mina,” Nayeon says, and Jihyo levels her with a look. “Or I realized the error of my ways and want to make up for it now. Take your pick, whichever makes you happy. Just skip to the part where you tell me things.”</p>
<p>After another suspicious look Jihyo does, and this is what Nayeon learns: Mina interned for JYP last year and started working full time a few months ago. She’s polite and unremarkable in meetings but management likes her – she’s been assigned a big case, a manslaughter with ties to the mayor’s office. </p>
<p>“They put a first year on something that high profile?” </p>
<p>Jihyo shrugs.</p>
<p>“She’s second chair, but yeah. Someone must see something in her.”</p>
<p>Nayeon leans back in her seat, surprised and a little jealous. It took her more than a year to get a chance like that, and she likes to think of herself as precocious. </p>
<p>What’s so special about Mina, Nayeon wonders. Decides to investigate.</p>
<p>;;</p>
<p>Before long an opportunity presents itself.</p>
<p>Nayeon is at the courthouse to meet Jihyo but Jihyo is late, which leaves her with nothing to do for at least fifteen minutes. Thirty, more likely, given that Jihyo can’t be on time to save her life.</p>
<p>So Nayeon walks down the hall, peering at the trial list on each courtroom she passes, looking for something interesting enough to spectate. </p>
<p>She finds it in 8: Mina’s manslaughter trial. Nayeon slides into a back pew to see how it’s going, and to test her new theory about Mina.</p>
<p>There are different ways to be good at law. Nayeon, for example, shines in jury trials. Those are battles of story as much as evidence, and her tendency to be loud and theatrical makes for compelling narrative delivery. It’s already become legend, the way jurors believe anything a little more if she’s the one to say it, and though she’s still working her way up to junior partner she’s been on stage for more than one big, public trial. It’s when she feels most herself, standing before a crowd weaving together fact and feeling.   </p>
<p>Mina, Nayeon suspects, is something else. Her demeanor is more deferential mouse than courtroom viper, so it follows that her strength lies in research and analysis, in doing paperwork so well there’s no need for performance. It’s a less flashy strength – one of Nayeon’s professors used to dismiss it as laptop litigation – but it would explain her selection for this case, which involves managing a lot of evidence.  </p>
<p>Nayeon is congratulating herself on her own powers of analysis when the prosecution finishes with a witness. He’s an important one, the cop who led the investigation, and his cross examination is a chance prove herself right. If Nayeon is on track, Mina will sit and take notes and maybe pull out an exhibit while the lead lawyer handles questioning. </p>
<p>Except Mina gets up. As she starts asking questions, Nayeon’s theory explodes. </p>
<p>There’s an understated brilliance to Mina’s technique, which somehow extract information without feeling extractive. Voice soft but penetrating, she probes at incongruous details, prying open fractures in the cop’s story. At the same time, the way she speaks is comforting, almost bewitching, like she’s working her way into your mind. <em>Just tell me everything and it’ll be ok</em>.  </p>
<p>Watching Mina, Nayeon feels hypnotized. She’s not alone – the cop breaks under Mina’s questioning, and Nayeon’s mouth drops open as he admits to suppressing evidence that would clear their client. </p>
<p>Nayeon is competent enough at working a witness. She knows how to lay a trap with words, how to lull someone into complacency or poke them into defensiveness. She’s never seen anything like this, though, and she doesn’t even care that she was dramatically, ridiculously wrong. She just wants to see more, to understand what this is and how it came from Mina. </p>
<p>As Mina returns to the counselor table her eyes land on Nayeon. She looks surprised, which is fair: Nayeon wasn’t planning to be caught watching. Still, credit where it’s due – she gives Mina a giant thumbs up and a beaming smile. </p>
<p>There’s more to the trial but that was the verdict, right there, and from the shine in her eyes Mina knows it too. </p>
<p>;;</p>
<p>At the next happy hour all of JYP celebrates Mina’s success.</p>
<p>The founder himself toasts to her, which sets off a cascade of further congratulations. There’s a line in waiting for Mina, to buy her a drink or just to be seen with a newly anointed rising star. Nayeon hangs back when Jihyo and Jeongyeon take their turn – she’d say she’s too busy arguing with the bartender about which Bong Joon-ho movie is best, but the reality is she wants Mina to herself. To see if there’s a difference in Mina, now that Nayeon knows what she’s capable of. </p>
<p>“That one’s a surprise,” Jeongyeon says when they reconvene. “Wish I’d seen her in court, I can’t quite imagine it. What do you think she’s like?”</p>
<p>“Spectacular,” Nayeon says without thinking. Realizes the mistake as two pairs of eyes settle on her.</p>
<p>“And you would know that how?” Jihyo says. The question is pointed but still a question, because Jihyo collects as much information as possible before destroying someone. Jeongyeon, meanwhile, jumps ahead to conclusions.</p>
<p>“Im Nayeon, what have you done this time.”</p>
<p>Nayeon chews on the ice cube at the bottom of her whiskey. As a stalling tactic, but also because it’s fun. </p>
<p>“I’m perfectly innocent as always,” she says around the ice. Waits until it melts to a manageable size. “Frankly it’s offensive you’d think anything else.”</p>
<p>“Please tell me you aren’t befriending her to drive her out of the firm,” Jeongyeon says. “Or something else worthy of a Disney villain.” </p>
<p>Nayeon scoffs.</p>
<p>“As if I’d be that cliché. Also, come on, women supporting women.”</p>
<p>“Support,” Jihyo repeats, grinning in the way that means trouble. “Is that what the kids are calling it these days?”</p>
<p>“Would you look at that, Mina’s alone. I should go offer my perfectly innocent congratulations.” Nayeon downs the rest of her drink. “And for the last time Jihyo, I’m older than you!”</p>
<p>;;</p>
<p>Nayeon slides into the seat beside Mina. </p>
<p>“Can I buy your next drink?”  </p>
<p>“I’m getting water,” Mina says, which isn't a warm welcome but also isn’t a no. “It’s free.”</p>
<p>“Then I picked the perfect time to offer.”</p>
<p>Nayeon gives an exaggerated wink, figuring she has about ten seconds before Mina bolts. Except Mina turns toward Nayeon, leaning against the bar and looking her in the eye. </p>
<p>“So what’s next?” Mina says, and Nayeon gets caught in the way she looks ever so slightly uncomposed, a flush to her cheeks, an unbuttoned button at the top of her shirt. It’s is a good look on her, relaxed and glowing. </p>
<p>Nayeon loses the question. </p>
<p>“Huh?”</p>
<p>“If I let you buy me a drink. What happens next? You’ve been trying to talk to me for a while, so you must have an endgame in mind.”</p>
<p>Funny thing: Nayeon doesn’t. As much as everyone expects schemes of her, she’s been so focused on getting Mina to talk that she hasn’t considered what to do in the event of success. </p>
<p>So she shrugs, leaving Mina to make an answer out of her silence.  </p>
<p>“What, do you want to take me home with you?”</p>
<p>Nayeon’s eyebrows shoot up. Of all the places Mina’s mind could go. </p>
<p>Not that Nayeon is opposed: Mina is the kind of beautiful that seems impossible to touch, like she comes from an entirely different plane of existence. Beauty isn’t the most interesting thing about her, though – doesn’t explain how she keeps proving Nayeon wrong without even trying. </p>
<p>In any case this is an opening, and Nayeon knows how to improvise. She tilts her head, lets her eyes sweep appreciatively over Mina. </p>
<p>“Would you come home with me?”</p>
<p>“You’re shameless,” Mina says. Her voice is matter of fact, but her cheeks are pinker than they were a minute ago. Which makes Nayeon warm to her task.  </p>
<p>“Shame isn’t very useful, from where I’m sitting.” Nayeon wriggles her stool around so that she’s facing Mina, brushing their legs together. Not hard, just testing. Mina doesn’t move away. “It’s a much better seat because you’re here.” </p>
<p>Mina shakes her head. There’s a smile, though, and Nayeon’s chest swells with it.</p>
<p>“What did I do to deserve this?” Mina says. </p>
<p>“You’re intriguing.” </p>
<p>Nayeon realizes she means it as the words come out. She says whatever pops into her head a lot of the time – not always, not when it could hurt people or her career, but you can’t spend every minute being careful. Nayeon recharges by letting go, speaking without vetting in advance, and as often as not it reveals things that are new to her.</p>
<p>For example: Mina is intriguing. </p>
<p>Mina’s smile goes sardonic, like she doesn’t believe a single word.</p>
<p>“I’m serious!” Nayeon says. “Is it so bad? Me being intrigued.”</p>
<p>“I haven’t decided yet. You’re not like I thought you’d be.”</p>
<p>“So you’ve been thinking about me?”</p>
<p>Nayeon waggles an eyebrow. </p>
<p>“Hard not to, with how you’re everywhere these days.”</p>
<p>Mina doesn’t sound upset, exactly, but there’s an undercurrent to the words that makes Nayeon pause. </p>
<p>She’s been approaching Mina like a question to answer, a riddle to solve. It hadn’t occurred to her that Mina would be affected by her interest, but of course Mina is a person with thoughts and feelings, and it finally dawns on Nayeon that there are stakes here beyond her own curiosity. An acquaintance seeing you in a moment of vulnerability probably sucks, and that same acquaintance showing up again and again probably makes it worse. </p>
<p>Nayeon takes a breath and slides out of flirtation.</p>
<p>“I could stop, if you want? I am intrigued. But if I’ve been bothering you, I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>Mina looks at her. Really looks at her, like the world begins and ends in the space between them,  and her breath stutters under the weight of Mina’s scrutiny. </p>
<p>A partner calls for Mina before she can say anything. As she goes, she looks back at Nayeon over her shoulder. </p>
<p>“I’ll see you later.”</p>
<p>;;</p>
<p>At the end of the night Nayeon has not seen Mina later. </p>
<p>Mina got passed from one partner to the next, a parade of graying men in suits, and while Nayeon understands the need to play to people in power she’s still disappointed. She stuck around after Jihyo and Jeongyeon left in the hope that a later would come, and now she’s waiting for an uber in front of the bar. </p>
<p>In the cold and the dark. With only disappointment for company.</p>
<p>The time to pickup ticks from 2 minutes to 10, and Nayeon curses under her breath.</p>
<p>“Hey,” a voice says.</p>
<p>Nayeon looks up to see Mina. This should not be surprising, probably, but Nayeon has given up on the night, mind already fastforwarding to when she’s at home in her bed wearing fuzzy pajamas.</p>
<p>In that context, Mina’s appearance is shock enough that Nayeon drops her phone. Is again thrown when Mina bends down to retrieve it for her. </p>
<p>“Should I be running away?” Nayeon says. “Are we switching roles and no one told me?”</p>
<p>Mina rolls her eyes. </p>
<p>“I wanted to say before you go – I like that you talk to me. You should keep doing it.” </p>
<p>“Um,” Nayeon says. “Ok. I will.”</p>
<p>“Good.”</p>
<p>Despite the fact that that seems to conclude their business, Mina takes a step closer. Into Nayeon’s personal space, so that she can feel the contrast between Mina’s warmth and the freezing night. </p>
<p>She shivers. </p>
<p>“I was thinking,” Mina says, quiet but determined. “That if you wanted, we could do more than talk. It’d be nice to have a reward for my win.”</p>
<p>“Just so I’m clear. This reward is me?”</p>
<p>“If you’re good enough to be one.”</p>
<p>That line ignites a jumble of feeling inside Nayeon: shock, delight, a little trepidation. </p>
<p>Usually Nayeon can talk to a person once and then extrapolate out an understanding of how they fit into the world, what they’d do and say in a range of situations. With Mina, though, that doesn’t work. If anything it’s the opposite: every time they talk Nayeon feels less sure of what she’s going to say. That’s exciting but it’s also nerve inducing – if Nayeon goes along for the ride now, she has no idea what will happen tomorrow. </p>
<p>So she says: </p>
<p>“I would love to show you the answer to that, but I’m really tired and I’ll never live it down if I fall asleep on someone as pretty as you. Can I get your number though? If you’d give me another shot at convincing you to come home with me.”</p>
<p>Nayeon holds her breath until Mina’s features resolve into a smile. </p>
<p>Mina types her number into Nayeon’s phone. Leans in to slide it into Nayeon’s pocket, lips finding Nayeon’s ear. </p>
<p>“Don’t keep me waiting too long.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i did not expect to find myself with a new kpop fandom but here we are. 2020, what can you do. part 2 coming in a weekish. not the most confident with these characterizations so like, if you enjoy would love to hear.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. II</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Nayeon gets closer to Mina. Then farther, then closer again.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thanks so much for the warm welcome in this fandom/for this fic, it really means a lot since i've been away from writing for a bit. this section is where the wild tonal shifts tag comes from so buckle up, and see y'all in 2021 for the last part!</p>
<p>tw: brief mentions of anxiety</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>By the time Nayeon gets home, she’s half convinced Mina was a hallucination.</p>
<p>Could that really have been her? A blatant proposition after so much dismissal?</p>
<p>But she’s there in Nayeon’s contacts – full name, no emoji, no flourishes, and Nayeon smiles because that at least feels consistent.</p>
<p>The question is what to do next. Nayeon doubts she’ll use Mina’s number if she doesn’t tonight: their encounter feels less real with each passing minute, the farther she gets from Mina’s breath whispering into her ear.</p>
<p>Telling her not to wait too long.</p>
<p>Suddenly too warm for her coat, Nayeon shrugs off wrinkled work layers and rummages for clothes to sleep in. Pauses, an idea taking shape, and then pulls out the most photogenic of her oversized t-shirts.</p>
<p>Nayeon puts it on, tidies what’s left of her makeup and climbs into bed. This is what Mina was interested in, pretty clearly, so Nayeon takes a selfie lying down, hair artfully strewn over the pillow. Analyzing the image she feels satisfied: the angle’s right, and she looks hot but not like she’s working at it.</p>
<p>She sends the picture and a message: <em>I’ve got space for you too.</em></p>
<p>Goes to brush her teeth so she won’t wait on a reply, only then realizing the potential for intense awkwardness if Mina gave her a prank number. She decides it’s probably fine – Mina’s confusing but has never seemed cruel, and in any case Nayeon has an excellent face. Sending it out into the world is a gift, not an embarrassment.</p>
<p>After finishing her skincare routine she checks her phone. She’s not expecting anything, she tells herself, but she needs to text Jeongyeon that she made it home safe. Jeongyeon is a terror when she’s worried.</p>
<p>This excuse doesn’t sway Nayeon’s heartbeat, which picks up at 3 new messages from Mina.</p>
<p>First:</p>
<p>
  <em>You say that like you’re not the one who rejected me.</em>
</p>
<p>Arriving a minute later:</p>
<p>
  <em>And now you fell asleep on me anyway… </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Good night Nayeon. Sleep well. </em>
</p>
<p>Nayeon’s thumbs fly over the screen.</p>
<p>
  <em>Nooooo don’t go!!! I’m right here. Also that was a continuance not a rejection, did you learn nothing in law school?</em>
</p>
<p>Three dots appear by Mina’s name.</p>
<p>
  <em>With a continuance both parties agree on a new date. I saw no proposals.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>You’re absolutely right, my mistake,</em> Nayeon writes. <em>Next Friday? </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Sounds good.</em>
</p>
<p>Just like that, Nayeon has a date with Mina. It feels surreal, how easy that was, but excitement rises in her anyway. She wonders what it’ll be like to kiss Mina, and to do more than that. Decides to press her luck a little further:</p>
<p>
  <em>Can I have a selfie? It’s only fair since you got one of mine.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>That wasn’t exactly solicited.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Does that mean you didn’t like it? </em>
</p>
<p>
 Nayeon adds a few pouting emoji for good measure.
</p>
<p><em>Give me a minute</em>, comes Mina’s response. <em>I don’t take a lot of pictures so this might be bad.</em></p>
<p>
  And then Mina is looking up from the phone screen, face bare and eyes dark. She’s in a tank top exposing long planes of skin, and if she looks good in a suit jacket the sight of her bare shoulder short circuits Nayeon. 
</p>
<p>
  It’s a full minute before she remembers to reply:
</p>
<p>
  <em>That is the exact opposite of bad.</em>
</p>
<p>;;</p>
<p>When Nayeon gets to work on Monday, she’s tempted to find Mina.</p>
<p>They texted all weekend, off and on, and Nayeon learned that while Mina rarely starts a conversation she’s good at continuing them. It’s reassuring, her willingness to reply, and between the selfie saved in Nayeon’s phone and their accumulating message history Mina takes on a new coherence. Nayeon’s starting to trust that that night at the bar wasn’t a one-off trip into the twilight zone, to settle into the reality where Mina’s interested in…something.</p>
<p>Though that answer raises more questions.</p>
<p>For example: where is Mina’s office? Does she share it with someone? Would she appreciate Nayeon showing up in her space at work?</p>
<p>It might seem strange to worry about this now, but Nayeon is boldest when she’s not getting anywhere. When everything is a joke, or can be played as one in the event of catastrophic failure.</p>
<p>When Mina would barely speak to her, she had nothing to lose.</p>
<p>Now that they have actual plans Nayeon hesitates. Faced with a few free minutes, she thinks about Mina but her feet take her to Jihyo’s office.</p>
<p>Jihyo is already absorbed in productivity so Nayeon does the natural thing: beats out an enthusiastic, rhythmless drum solo against Jihyo’s door frame with a pen. Before long Jeongyeon joins her to air guitar, and with their powers combined they annoy Jihyo into looking up.</p>
<p>“At least come in and close the door,” Jihyo says.</p>
<p>As they sprawl in her client chairs Jeongyeon punches Nayeon. Softly, but still.</p>
<p>“I see you’re alive,” Jeongyeon grumbles. “Not like I spent all Friday night having nightmares about your untimely murder.”</p>
<p>“I dream about that every day.” Jihyo gives her computer monitor a longing glance. “Imagine the time we’d save.”</p>
<p>“Sorry,” Nayeon says, ignoring Jihyo completely. “I was about to text you but a thing happened.”</p>
<p>The only response is silence. Jihyo returns to work, and Jeongyeon pulls out her phone.</p>
<p>“Aren’t you going to ask?” Nayeon pouts. “It’s like you don’t care about me at all.”</p>
<p>“Please,” Jihyo says without looking up. “We know this is a ploy to build suspense and you’re going to tell us anyway. Like anyone could stop you talking about yourself.”</p>
<p>Nayeon pouts harder, and Jihyo pauses typing to blow her a sarcastic kiss.</p>
<p>“Fine,” Jeongyeon says. “What life-changing event was more important than my sanity?”</p>
<p>“I got Mina’s number. We’re going out Friday. Or staying in, technically – she’s coming to my place after happy hour.”</p>
<p>Jeongyeon and Jihyo exchange a look.</p>
<p>“How have you already found something to judge me for,” Nayeon says.</p>
<p>“That last guy you dated,” Jeongyeon says. “How long were you together?”</p>
<p>“A couple months. Why?”</p>
<p>“How long before he saw your apartment?”</p>
<p>Nayeon frowns, thinking back.</p>
<p>“I’m not sure he ever did.”</p>
<p>“And you’re letting Mina come over on a first date?”</p>
<p>“I mean, she works here. She’d have to be a very stupid serial killer to choose me as her victim and she seems more competent than that.”</p>
<p>Jeongyeon’s about to say something else, but an alarm trills from Jihyo’s desk.</p>
<p>“Ok, out,” Jihyo says. “At least go pretend to work.”</p>
<p>;;</p>
<p>Nayeon does work.</p>
<p>She gets absorbed in a case, works through lunch and right up until a meeting that afternoon. It’s the monthly all-firm assembly, where there are progress reports and reassignments and all sorts of other discussions Nayeon finds interesting in theory and excruciating when she has to sit through them.</p>
<p>She won’t even get a seat today: they’re all taken by the time she slides into the conference room, emergency chips in her hand (and mouth), so she finds some open wall in the back and prepares herself for the combined assault of stiffness and boredom.</p>
<p>Across the room, Mina has a prime seat near the head of the table, the kind you only get if someone important offers it to you.</p>
<p>When Nayeon looks over, Mina is already watching her. Lifting a hand in tentative greeting.</p>
<p>Nayeon waves back with her chip bag, trying to smile but cheeks too full to really accomplish it. Mina covers a laugh with her hand but Nayeon can still see it in the shape of her eyes and the shake of her shoulders.</p>
<p>Somehow standing for the next hour doesn’t seem so bad.</p>
<p>;;</p>
<p>The downside to making plans in advance is having time to think, and as the week progresses Nayeon gets stuck on that thing Jeongyeon said.</p>
<p>Nayeon would never admit it out loud, but Jeongyeon was right: it’s weird for Nayeon to let a date into her apartment.</p>
<p>If Nayeon is built for an audience, her relationships tend to be like that too. She’s better at being with someone when there are others around, and she knows exactly what to do if she can show a person off, take them to parties and fancy dinners and pose for couple pictures. She’s less comfortable without the guardrails of public expectation, and more than one relationship has crashed on a vacation alone, where there’s too much time to fill with only each other.</p>
<p>Jihyo once told her she treats significant others the way most girls do jewelry: valuable, but only necessary if you’re going out and being seen.</p>
<p>Mina, though, breaks that pattern. Nayeon invited her over because it felt natural in the moment, but even with thought she stands by it.</p>
<p>She doesn’t want to share Mina with a crowd. She wants to pull Mina someplace quiet and warm and really talk to her, see if she can pin down all the shades in Mina and how they fit together.</p>
<p>It’s an unfamiliar impulse, and Nayeon’s preoccupied with it Thursday afternoon as she heads to the break room, hoping coffee will sharpen her focus. The communal pot is empty so she searches through the cabinets, starts the slow process of brewing a new one.</p>
<p>She’s picking at a dent in the counter to pass time when Mina appears.</p>
<p>“Hi,” Mina says.</p>
<p>Nayeon doesn’t react at first, unsure whether her thoughts have gotten so out of control they’ve turned corporeal.</p>
<p>But Mina is real, gorgeous even under the sallow fluorescent lights, and Nayeon is staring at her like an idiot.</p>
<p>“Do you need sugar,” Nayeon says, because it’s the first thing to pop into her mind.</p>
<p>“Ideally the coffee would finish first. But yes.”</p>
<p>Nayeon goes red, wondering when Mina gained the ability to unbalance her without even trying. They stand shoulder to shoulder, waiting for the coffee to percolate.</p>
<p>Mina is perfectly still, almost regimented, and it makes Nayeon painfully aware of her own restlessness – how her hands itch to tap things, how her weight shifts from foot to foot.</p>
<p>“Are you still up for tomorrow?” Nayeon says, to give herself something else to focus on.</p>
<p>“Definitely. Unless you’re backing out?”</p>
<p>“No! Very much in.”</p>
<p>The coffee still isn’t done. Nayeon drums her fingers on the counter. Stops when she catches herself doing it.</p>
<p>“Sorry,” she says, shoving her hands in her pockets where maybe they will behave.</p>
<p>Mina tilts her head.</p>
<p>“Why are you apologizing?”</p>
<p>“For all this.” Nayeon nods at her foot, which is now tapping on the floor. “I’ve never been good at stillness. And. Well.”</p>
<p>Mina smirks, hearing what Nayeon doesn’t say.</p>
<p>“Do I make you nervous? Because for someone who was so confident before, you seem a little nervous.”</p>
<p>“Psh, I’m impervious to nerves.”</p>
<p>Mina takes a step toward her.</p>
<p>Nayeon backs into a cabinet. While also banging her coffee mug against her hip.</p>
<p>“I see that,” Mina says, far too pleased with herself.</p>
<p>That is a challenge, plain and simple, and Nayeon’s competitive spirit pulls the rest of her together.</p>
<p>She moves so that she’s in front of Mina. Brings her face close to Mina’s, on a trajectory that would end in a kiss. Diverts last second, reaching behind Mina instead.</p>
<p>Mina’s eyes have closed, expecting contact, and Nayeon feels immense satisfaction at the slow, dazed way they flutter open.</p>
<p>“Here’s your sugar. Coffee’s done now.”</p>
<p>;;</p>
<p>On Friday, Nayeon leaves happy hour after one drink.</p>
<p>Mina meets her by the door. They catch the subway together, walk the two blocks from the station to Nayeon’s building together, and Mina stands there not-quite-smiling as Nayeon fumbles with her keys.</p>
<p>“I thought we could maybe get delivery and watch a movie,” Nayeon says once they’re inside. “Is pizza ok?”</p>
<p>Mina nods. They sit on Nayeon’s couch, a respectable foot between them, and Mina picks a film while Nayeon jabs at her phone until food is on its way.</p>
<p>Aside from on-screen dialogue, no words are spoken. Nayeon’s comfortable with the lack of conversation at first: she hates people who talk over movies (you should either watch or talk, not both at the same time) but then she starts thinking about how she forgot to take Mina’s coat or even offer her a drink, and what if Mina thinks she’s a terrible host, a terrible person even, and would doing that now make things better or just draw more attention to her failures?</p>
<p>The thought spiral reminds Nayeon why she doesn’t do this: there’s so much vulnerability to Mina being here in her space, with no one else to help carry the weight of her presence.</p>
<p>The pizza’s arrival breaks them out of silence, and once Nayeon gets Mina a plate and a beer she feels a little less frozen.</p>
<p>“Um,” Mina says, when the pizza is mostly gone. She points to Nayeon’s chin. “You’ve got some sauce.”</p>
<p>Mortified, Nayeon swipes at her own face with a napkin. Misses, apparently, because Mina chuckles and shakes her head.</p>
<p>“Let me.”</p>
<p>She cleans the sauce off Nayeon, which Nayeon only survives by looking at the ceiling and desperately pretending that it isn’t happening.</p>
<p>Once it’s over, she covers her face with her hands.</p>
<p>“This is so embarrassing,” Nayeon whines from behind them.</p>
<p>Mina pulls her hands down, keeping hold of one.</p>
<p>“It’s cute,” she corrects.</p>
<p>“Really?”</p>
<p>Mina nods. Nayeon eyes her suspiciously.</p>
<p>“I don’t believe you.”</p>
<p>“I can prove it.”</p>
<p>Despite the bold words, Mina leans in slowly, like she has to talk herself into making the move. So often Nayeon can only puzzle at the whys behind Mina, but this piece of her is transparent and human, and it makes Nayeon want to kiss her even more than she already did.</p>
<p>So Nayeon closes the distance.</p>
<p>The first contact is soft, but soon Mina’s licking into her mouth, pulling Nayeon down beside her on the couch. It feels fast, maybe even unearned, but Mina is warm and willing and her body responds: when Mina rolls them over, thigh slotting between Nayeon’s legs, Nayeon loses all thoughts beyond <em>more</em> and <em>now</em>.</p>
<p>By the time consciousness returns she’s got Mina’s shirt off.</p>
<p>“You’re sure you want this?” she mumbles against Mina’s lips.</p>
<p>Mina pulls back, looks down to where her hand is working at the button on Nayeon’s pants.</p>
<p>“If you’re doubting that you’re really bad at reading a room.”</p>
<p>Nayeon laughs.</p>
<p>“I’m just saying, there’s no rush. I know I was awkward earlier but I’d be happy actually watching the movie if you’d rather.”</p>
<p>Nayeon is already leaning back in, so she almost misses the flicker in Mina’s expression. She sees it, though, and she feels the parallel change in Mina’s kiss, reluctant where before she’d been full speed ahead.</p>
<p>Nayeon pulls away again. Mina won’t look her in the eye; something has definitely changed.</p>
<p>“What just happened?” Nayeon says.</p>
<p>“The way you said that. It seems like you might want real things from me.”</p>
<p>“Do you…not want that?”</p>
<p>“I didn’t think you would,” Mina says, redirecting as seamlessly as she does in court.</p>
<p>Nayeon sits up, cold after the warmth of Mina’s body. Colder still when Mina grabs her shirt and puts it on, looking like she’d rather be anywhere else.</p>
<p>“What does that mean?”</p>
<p>“It’s easy for you, being around people. Talking to them. Since you’re…you, I didn't think you’d have space for me to mean something.”</p>
<p>Nayeon blinks once, then again, still unsure what’s happening. Mina’s words almost sound like the shy girl’s lines from a drama, but that character would be happy, ecstatic someone charming and popular noticed her. That’s not what’s happening here: Mina’s expression is part grimace, part apology.</p>
<p>“Why is having space for you a bad thing?” Nayeon says.</p>
<p>Mina sighs. Takes a long minute to consider her words, and when they finally come the torrent of them is overwhelming.</p>
<p>“Because I’m quiet, people assume I have trouble finding someone who wants to date me. I don’t. The harder things is friends. Finding them, and keeping them through the weeks when trying to answer a text makes me so anxious I panic.” Nayeon’s about to interrupt, but Mina stops her with a hand. “Don’t worry, I know how to manage my anxiety now. It’s never going away though, and it means I only have so much to give people before I need to be alone and recharge. When I find someone I like, that’s a problem because I want to spend all the time I can with them. They get to be too much of my world, and then when it ends I’ve lost them and everyone else.”</p>
<p>“I thought you’d be safe,” Mina continues, “because you’d want this to be casual. But if it could be real…I can’t do that, Nayeon. I’d lose myself in you.”</p>
<p>“Oh,” Nayeon says. This is the most she’s heard Mina say, both in quantity and depth, and there’s a quiet devastation to knowing it might be first and last in one go.</p>
<p>She wants to say a lot of things in return, to promise that she can do casual or yell about how this is unfair until she wears Mina into changing her mind. But Mina’s made her choice: it’s clear in the matter of fact tone. Nayeon could fight all she wants but she wouldn’t win, and as the possibility of Mina collapses around her she realizes how much she’d begun investing in it.</p>
<p>In front of them, the movie’s credits scroll unwatched.</p>
<p>“I guess you don’t want to stay then,” Nayeon says.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>Mina leaves, and Nayeon spends the rest of the night staring at the door that closed behind her.</p>
<p>;;</p>
<p>Nayeon stews for a week.</p>
<p>She doesn’t collapse – she still gets up and goes to work and goes through the motions. Whenever their paths cross in the hall, she gives Mina tight smiles and gets them in return. In reality, almost nothing external changes: she and Mina were only a whisper of potential, so there are no patterns to break.</p>
<p>Still, Nayeon is sad and deflated, and angry at herself for not being able to shake this off.</p>
<p>She plans to deal with it like she does most personal tragedies – ignore it until it goes away – but over the weekend Jeongyeon drags her to a karaoke bar, makes her sing and drink until she’s softened enough to answer questions.</p>
<p>“I can’t even blame her,” Nayeon says once she’s explained the whole thing. “I’m a lot – I mean, I’m the best and we all know it – but if Mina gets overwhelmed by people…”</p>
<p>She trails off into a shrug.</p>
<p>Jeongyeon scoffs, and Nayeon is about to start attacking her but Jeongyeon holds up a hand with such unusual seriousness she stays in her seat.</p>
<p>“Would you purposefully overwhelm Mina?” Jeongyeon says.</p>
<p>“Of course not.”</p>
<p>“Have you ever tried to give space to someone you’re dating?”</p>
<p>“I…guess not.”</p>
<p>“They all liked you clingy and ridiculous, right? So you fed into that. You’re a good human, Nayeon, and you try to be what people need. I don’t know that you and Mina would work, but don’t assume you can’t just because it’d look different. She sounds scared, not uninterested.”</p>
<p>Nayeon sits with that for a minute, trying to process. Eventually tips her head against Jeongyeon’s shoulder.</p>
<p>“I love you, you know.”</p>
<p>“Gross.” Nayeon slaps her arm, and Jeongyeon grins. “Yeah, yeah. I love you too.”</p>
<p>;;</p>
<p>Nayeon feels better after that talk, but also less sure what to do.</p>
<p>She’s had to work hard for lots of things in her life: her degree, her position at JYP, maintaining sanity in a field that’s as unforgiving as it is competitive. She’s never had to work to get a person, though, and she’s not sure how you go about it. Not sure if Mina would be receptive, either: leaving mid-makeout session is a pretty clear no, even if it rests on questionable assumptions.</p>
<p>In the middle of this philosophical quandary drops the worst day Nayeon has had in years.</p>
<p>A catastrophic 9AM meeting sets the tone. Said meeting was supposed to be easy, just filling out the contours of existing strategy, but this client is headstrong – the kind of businessman who thinks he understands the law better than any lawyer, and certainly better than the airheaded girl he takes Nayeon to be.</p>
<p>“I want the judge to hear it from me,” the client says, bulldozing through two months of research and groundwork. “We can’t lose if I get up there and tell the truth.”</p>
<p>“Like we agreed last time,” Nayeon says, struggling to keep her voice level. “There’s too much exposure with you on the witness stand. I won’t be able to protect you if the prosecution asks a question you don’t know how to answer.”</p>
<p>He sneers.</p>
<p>“I don’t need protection. If you won’t do it my way I’ll find a firm that will.”</p>
<p>“Maybe you should,” Nayeon says, and the client storms out.</p>
<p>Nayeon groans, laying her head down on her desk. That felt good to say but it’ll cost her: that client’s retainer alone could pay her salary for a year.</p>
<p>Sure enough, she’s called upstairs within the hour, greeted with cold disappointment and an ultimatum: get him back or find a way to replace the billable hours by the end of the quarter. “Or else it’s your job” doesn’t have to be said, and riding the elevator down to her floor the effort of holding back tears burns at Nayeon’s throat.</p>
<p>She can’t even go home and lick her wounds in peace, because there’s a deposition tomorrow where opposing counsel is Jennie, who is the most glamorous person to ever come through the District Attorney’s office and will absolutely destroy Nayeon if she’s unprepared. And, since depositions are taped, the destruction will be played in Nayeon's annual reviews from here to eternity.</p>
<p>So Nayeon sits at her desk, trades contacts for glasses and tries very hard to work. Except she can’t focus, and things that should take ten minutes stretch into thirty. She works past 5, when theoretically she should leave, and past 8, when people actually do. By 10 the office is empty and Nayeon is staring down hours more work, starving and exhausted and wishing for nothing more than a week spent lying in bed.</p>
<p>Hunger, at least, is a fixable problem so she goes to the break room to scavenge.</p>
<p>In keeping with trends, her cup ramen explodes in the microwave. On top of everything else, this breaks her.</p>
<p>Nayeon starts crying, loud, ugly tears that fog her glasses and crumple her over the counter.</p>
<p>After a hazy stretch of time, there’s a hand light on her shoulder. Nayeon can guess who it is without looking, because while crying in front of anyone sucks there is one person she emphatically does not want to see her like this.</p>
<p>Mina’s hand drops as Nayeon turns to face her.</p>
<p>“Could this day get any worse.” Nayeon laughs around a sob, in the way that has nothing to do with humor. She has the wild urge to say “this isn’t about you!” - except it is, at least a little, and there’s no quicker confirmation of that than yelling how it isn’t true. So, instead: “Why are you here?”</p>
<p>“I heard what happened, and. I wanted to make sure you’re ok.”</p>
<p>“Why?”</p>
<p>Mina doesn’t answer, just bites her lip and keeps looking at Nayeon in that weighty, inscrutable way of hers.</p>
<p>“You make no sense,” Nayeon says. “It’s driving me crazy.”</p>
<p>“Do you want me to go?”</p>
<p>“No.” It comes out aggressive because Nayeon wants to want that: life would be easier without her interest in Mina. After a beat, she decides she's too tired to fight. “If you’re going to be here the least you could do is hug me.”</p>
<p>Mina sucks in a surprised breath, but she obeys. Puts her arms around Nayeon, and though it should be awkward Nayeon melts into the comfort.</p>
<p>“Please don’t leave again,” Nayeon says, eyes closed, into Mina’s neck.</p>
<p>Mina's grip on her tightens.</p>
<p>“I think,” Mina says. “I think I was wrong about some things.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. III</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Nayeon figures out the right question.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>sorry this took a month, work got insane/i had to drive 25 hours in a car and that takes some things out of you. also this kept growing so still one more part to go. i really appreciate all the comments though - motivated me to pick this back up after i got stuck. </p>
<p>tw: some more mentions of anxiety</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Just after midnight, Nayeon closes her laptop.</p>
<p>She’s still tired but panic has turned to satisfaction: she’s ready for tomorrow, and though she’s got more ground to make up with JYP it no longer feels like she’ll plunge to her death at the first stumble. </p>
<p>The other person in her office is a big part of that. </p>
<p>Mina stayed. She stayed for hours while Nayeon worked, her presence calming but unobtrusive, and every time Nayeon glanced up from her files to see Mina there the pressure in her chest eased up a step.</p>
<p>Now, with work done and Mina absorbed in a phone game, Nayeon lingers in the luxury of an unhurried look.</p>
<p>Mina sits before a wall of windows, silhouetted against the skyline. The office is dim – only Nayeon’s desk lamp is on – so Mina is half cast in shadow, moonlight tinting her silver. She looks untouchable, like a girl from a painting you can wonder at but never see beyond the surface.</p>
<p>But then her finger slips and she glares at her phone, and Mina-ethereal-creature-of-dreams becomes Mina-who-pouts-when-she-loses. It’s such a contrast that Nayeon laughs out loud.  </p>
<p>Mina startles, surprise turning to sheepishness. </p>
<p>“Sorry, did I distract you?”</p>
<p>“I’m done,” Nayeon says, with a smile that comes easier than expected. “I might survive now.”</p>
<p>“I’m glad.”</p>
<p>Mina smiles back, and for the first time there’s no indecipherable undercurrent to it. It’s just a smile, and a pretty one, and though Nayeon should be wary the impulse to keep it around outweighs her sense of self-preservation. It’d be smart to leave now, but it’d be a shame too. So Nayeon says:</p>
<p>“Are you hungry?” </p>
<p>Mina orders them chicken from the place down the block that stays open late. She goes to the lobby to meet the delivery person, too, telling Nayeon to sit and relax, and a fuzzy warmth blooms in Nayeon at Mina taking care of her.</p>
<p>When Mina returns, she’s got food in one hand and whiskey in the other. </p>
<p>“Didn’t see that on the menu,” Nayeon says, gesturing at the bottle. She can’t read the Japanese tracing up its side but in any language it looks expensive. </p>
<p>“This came from my desk.” Mina arranges everything on Nayeon’s meeting table, commandeering a couple glasses, and they start eating. “My dad gave it to me when I got the job here. Said it’s important to have good whiskey for special occasions.”</p>
<p>Nayeon nods sagely.</p>
<p>“I am a special occasion.” </p>
<p>“You are,” Mina agrees, instead of laughing like Nayeon expects. It catches Nayeon off guard, her mind going empty, and there’s a pleased quirk to Mina’s lips as she takes her next bite. “I love your office, by the way. I’m in a three person share facing a wall.” </p>
<p>Nayeon follows Mina’s gaze out the window. Her office has a beautiful view, is beautiful in general, and when a promotion first won her this space she used to marvel at it every morning. Now, though, it’s too familiar to notice. Her sights are set on what comes next: corner offices have two walls of windows, and there are three floors left to climb into management.</p>
<p>Not that she’s guaranteed to keep going up.</p>
<p>“It could be yours soon,” Nayeon says, only part joking.</p>
<p> Mina frowns.</p>
<p>“I don’t want you to think of me as competition.”</p>
<p>“I don’t,” Nayeon says, which is true if perhaps unwise. What Mina is instead is hard to put words to, and maybe Mina feels that uncertainty hanging in the air because they lapse into silence for the rest of the meal.  </p>
<p>When they walk outside, it’s closer to sunrise than sunset.</p>
<p>“I’ll see you in a few hours?” Mina says. </p>
<p>Nayeon squints at her, considering.</p>
<p>“Are you still going to want to see me in a few hours? I appreciate tonight, whatever this was, but I’m really confused and I don’t know what you want – or honestly even what I want – and we should talk but my brain will explode if I try to make it do anything else before sleep and wow I have lost control of this sentence. See? This is why there should be sleep.”</p>
<p>“Then sleep,” Mina says, laughter in her voice. More seriously: “I’ll be around when you want to talk. I’m not running away again.”</p>
<p>“You promise?”</p>
<p>Nayeon holds out a pinky finger. Mina hooks her own around it.</p>
<p>“I promise.”  </p>
<p>;;</p>
<p>Nayeon wakes up to eyes gummy from lack of sleep and a text from Mina that says, <em>fighting!</em></p>
<p>It takes five tries to get her contacts in, but all in all. No regrets.</p>
<p>;;</p>
<p>The deposition goes well.</p>
<p>Aided by potentially hazardous quantities of espresso, Nayeon prods Jennie’s witness into contradicting himself, which throws the prosecution’s narrative into chaos. By the end, Jennie is sighing like she knows she can’t take this to trial. </p>
<p>“I’ll call you later,” she tells Nayeon, as assistants pack up equipment and notes.</p>
<p>“You mean you’ll call me about a plea deal,” Nayeon says, grinning. </p>
<p>Jennie rolls her eyes.</p>
<p>“Yes, you gloating ass. But you’re buying lunch next week.”</p>
<p>Buoyed by one averted catastrophe, Nayeon spends the rest of the day scheming to save her job. </p>
<p>The key, she knows, isn’t the client she lost – he’s too proud to come back, and most of JYP will be happy to see someone that bullheaded go. The hole his departure creates is a different story. It’s damaging in reputation as well as bottom line, so Nayeon needs to poach a big client from another firm or spin the narrative in their favor. </p>
<p>Ideally both, to get back into favor with the powers that be. </p>
<p>So she goes through her contacts, putting out feelers in every direction. Even the awkward ones: she’s drafting an email to a colleague who asked her out last year, cutting out adjectives and punctuation that might be read as interest, when Jeongyeon and Jihyo come by to insist on dinner. </p>
<p>They knew to leave her alone yesterday, when she was too vulnerable for the press of eyes and good intentions, but now, as Jeongyeon says:</p>
<p>“You should eat real food and we don’t trust you to do it without intervention.”</p>
<p>While they’re arguing about where to go, Mina knocks on Nayeon’s door frame. Nayeon’s heart does a hop-skip-jump at the sight of her. </p>
<p>“I just wanted to come by and say. Um.” Mina stops, eyes flicking from Nayeon to Jihyo and Jeongyeon. Who are doing a terrible job pretending not to listen. “Never mind, I’ll go now.”</p>
<p>Nayeon would really like to know the end of that sentence. Stupid friends and their stupid support. </p>
<p>“Come out with us,” Jihyo says, and Nayeon feels bad for momentarily wishing her out of existence. “We’re just getting dinner and making sure Nayeon doesn’t destroy her career out of aggravation.”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Jeongyeon says. “We’d love to have you.”</p>
<p>Mina looks to Nayeon, who nods. </p>
<p>“We would. But no pressure.”</p>
<p>“Ok,” Mina says. “Let me get my things.”</p>
<p>;;</p>
<p>“What should be next?” Jihyo says at dinner, an hour into embarrassing stories about Nayeon. She and Jeongyeon have been taking turns, with escalating degrees of humiliation, and Nayeon is just about Done with the both of them. </p>
<p>Except Mina is loose with laughter beside her, so maybe there’s a silver lining. </p>
<p>“I know,” Jeongyeon says, evil glinting in her eyes. “How about the time second year when Nayeon showed up to our Con Law exam without pants because-”</p>
<p>“Ok!” Nayeon cuts in. “I can’t believe I’m going to say this but that’s enough talk about me. New topic! Jihyo, what’s up with you and Sana from civil?”</p>
<p>“We’re friends,” Jihyo says. “Just like I am with you guys.” </p>
<p>“Oh really? Then why don’t you kiss my cheek, since I saw you kiss hers at happy hour and apparently we’re the same.”</p>
<p>Nayeon leans toward Jihyo, puffing out her cheek. Jihyo shoves her away. </p>
<p>“Excuse you, I’m trying to eat here.”</p>
<p>“See! You don’t do that with friends. I can’t believe you’re pursuing someone from work, miss never mix business and pleasure.”</p>
<p>“You’re really going at her for a thing you’re doing?” Jeongyeon says, equal parts amused and scolding. </p>
<p>Which reminds Nayeon that this is not a normal dinner between old friends.</p>
<p>Mina goes stiff. Nayeon tries not to panic.</p>
<p>Mina is here for her and everyone knows it, but they’ve all been careful not to say it out loud. Words come with pressure and though Jeongyeon’s are pretty lowkey, they still draw a line around Mina-and-Nayeon, making them into something to be named and discussed. Mina has already run for less, and that memory has Nayeon scrambling for a subject change, a way to divert collective attention.  </p>
<p>Before she finds one, Mina gives an endearing little wave.</p>
<p>“I guess that makes me the thing Nayeon’s doing.”</p>
<p>Nayeon’s mouth drops open as everyone else dissolves into laughter. Under the table, Mina’s hand finds her leg. Squeezes then stays there, reassuring.  </p>
<p>“Oh I like you,” Jeongyeon says when she can speak again. “Forget Nayeon, she’s a loser. Hang out with us.”</p>
<p>There’s mischief in Mina’s grin. </p>
<p>“But I have so much blackmail material on her now. Can’t let that go to waste.”</p>
<p>;;</p>
<p>After dinner, Jeongyeon and Jihyo leave quickly.</p>
<p>“We have that project,” Jihyo says. “You know, it’s important. But not important enough that you need to help.”</p>
<p>Nayeon rolls her eyes because wow, subtle. </p>
<p>Then it’s just her and Mina, standing on the sidewalk outside the restaurant. </p>
<p>“Do you need to go home?” Nayeon says.</p>
<p>“Not yet.”</p>
<p>They walk slow and aimless through the streetlit night, close enough that their hands brush. After a block, Nayeon works up the courage to tap her finger against Mina’s. Mina stays just as close so she does it again, and this time Mina catches her hand. </p>
<p>Their fingers intertwine easily, naturally, and it’s so nice that Nayeon gets overwhelmed. Holding Mina’s hand once makes her ache for the license to hold it always, for things between them to be solid and habitual rather than a mirage wavering as she reaches out to grasp it. </p>
<p>Because here’s the thing: she still doesn’t get what Mina wants. </p>
<p>The thought of asking is terrifying but she needs to try, so Nayeon decides to work up to it. In court you start small with a skittish witness, with little questions that lead to big ones. Maybe the same strategy will work here.</p>
<p>“Was tonight ok?” Nayeon says.</p>
<p>“It was nice.”</p>
<p>Mina smiles but doesn’t say more. Of course this won’t be easy, Nayeon thinks.</p>
<p>“And hanging out with my friends. Was that ok?”</p>
<p>“They’re nice, too.” Mina peers over at her. “Why are you asking?”</p>
<p>Which is one limit of the courtroom analogy: unlike witnesses, Mina gets to ask questions back.</p>
<p>Nayeon sighs, struggling to put order to everything in her head.</p>
<p>“I just don’t want you to think you have to be friends with my friends or spend all your time with me. That thing you said before, about losing yourself in someone. I don’t want to cause that. Whatever space you want, I’d try to give it to you. Not that we’ve talked about anything so that’s probably getting ten steps ahead but it’s important that you know and I didn’t think to say it last time.”</p>
<p>As Nayeon finishes her monologue they slow to a stop. She didn’t mean to say that much but once the words started they just kept coming and she looks down at the ground, feeling exposed. </p>
<p>“It was fun hanging out with your friends,” Mina says. “They are nice, and I like how you laugh when you’re with them.”</p>
<p>“Like a braying donkey?”</p>
<p>“Like there’s nothing that can hold you back. It’s one of the things I like best about you.” Mina’s feet move into Nayeon’s field of vision. She tilts Nayeon’s chin up, and when their eyes meet Mina’s are soft. “I like a lot of things about you.”</p>
<p>That’s the closest Mina has gotten to acknowledging real feelings, and Nayeon wants it to be enough. Wants to float away on the lightness growing in her, without worrying about caveats and counterpoints. But she makes a living carving pathways through what people say and she needs more than implication. </p>
<p>She takes Mina’s hands, steeling herself to ask the real question.</p>
<p>“Do you like me enough to actually try? I can’t do casual with you. I’m sorry if that’s what you want.”</p>
<p>Their eyes are still locked. Nayeon sees so many emotions swirling in Mina’s, surprise and wonder and hope and worry, and her heart beats wild as she waits to hear what will win out. </p>
<p>“I do,” Mina finally says. “Like you enough.”</p>
<p>Nayeon hears the words. Can’t quite process them. </p>
<p>“So, we’re doing this for real?”</p>
<p>“For real,” Mina confirms. </p>
<p>“Not casual?”</p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p>Mina is starting to look exasperated. </p>
<p>“And this isn’t some elaborate scheme because you need a date for a wedding?”</p>
<p>“Nayeon, oh my god. I know I was confusing and I’m sorry but is it that hard to believe I want to date you?”</p>
<p>Mina stomps her foot, adorable in her frustration, and for some reason this is the thing that makes it sink in. </p>
<p>Mina said yes. A real, repeated, unqualified yes. </p>
<p>Nayeon’s smile takes over her whole face.</p>
<p>“Can I kiss you now? I’ll stop asking stupid questions if I get to kiss you.”</p>
<p>Mina leans closer in answer. Nayeon mirrors the move, and when their lips meet it’s the gentlest kiss she’s ever had. </p>
<p>Nayeon thought she knew what kissing Mina felt like. She’s done it before, and though the context is different she’d have said in the second before this kiss that context doesn’t matter. It’s still her lips plus Mina’s, the pull of bodies trying to be closer. How can there be surprise in something that stays fundamentally the same.</p>
<p>Except, as Mina’s hand comes up to cup her cheek, Nayeon realizes it’s not the same. If kissing Mina before was good, fun and hot and all the things experience has taught Nayeon to look for in someone’s kiss, what’s happening now rewrites the rules of categorization. It’s not just a kiss; it’s a world in itself, possibility stretching out in every direction. </p>
<p>;;</p>
<p>Nayeon wishes she could say that after that night kissing Mina becomes a daily occurrence.   </p>
<p>But, sadly, the rest of her life still needs tending to. </p>
<p>Nayeon’s contacts start to get back to her, and soon she’s booked solid with business lunches and after-work drinks. This is a good thing, professionally speaking, but she can’t help but think the universe is laughing at her expense: of course she starts dating someone she really likes right as she runs out of free time. </p>
<p>Still, she and Mina carve out moments to concentrate on each other. They discover that – though they come from different directions – they spend the same 30 minutes each morning bored on the train in to work. Nayeon thrives on attention and it’s transformative, knowing there’s a pocket of time every day when she gets to have all of Mina’s. On the train, through messages, they flirt and bicker and Nayeon starts to learn the details that give Mina texture, from high school stories to the alarming number of superhero memes saved on her phone. </p>
<p>After a few weeks of this, Nayeon wakes up at her first alarm instead of her fifth, cuts down on coffee because the knowledge she’ll talk to Mina soon is all she needs to look forward to the day. </p>
<p>;;</p>
<p>One morning a senior partner invites Nayeon to breakfast before work.</p>
<p>Nayeon goes because Sunmi has always been kind to her and it’s useful to take the temperature of things upstairs. She’s grumpy at missing her Mina window, though. </p>
<p>“I’m leaving JYP,” Sunmi says as soon as Nayeon sits down, startling her into full attentiveness.</p>
<p>“What? Why?”</p>
<p>“I’m starting my own firm and I want you to come with me.”</p>
<p> Nayeon blinks at her. Tries to make that make sense. </p>
<p>“Aren’t I about to get fired?”</p>
<p>Sunmi just laughs. </p>
<p>“You’re so cute. I remember when I believed the threats, too.”</p>
<p>“What is happening right now,” Nayeon says, as much to herself as Sunmi.</p>
<p>“Nayeon, look, I’ve seen the numbers. You’re a workhorse and you’ve got the best network of anyone at your level. JYP might threaten, but that client switches firms twice a year and they can afford to lose him more than you. Besides, I’m sure you have two contingency plans in the making already.”</p>
<p>“Three, technically.”</p>
<p>Sunmi grins.</p>
<p>“See? That’s why I want you. I wouldn’t be able to match the salary here but you’d have more freedom and your name on the letterhead. After mine, of course.”</p>
<p>“I don’t know. I’m flattered, honestly, but this is a lot to take in.”</p>
<p>“I don’t need an answer now – this won’t happen for a few months. But can you do something for me?” Nayeon nods. “Think about what you really want, in work and beyond it. It’s easy to get on a track and stay there because of inertia, and then a decade later wish you’d have chosen differently. Whatever your choices are, make sure they’re yours.” </p>
<p>;;</p>
<p>Finally, a Saturday free of work appears. </p>
<p>Nayeon plans to spend it with Mina – a day out doing things, starting with brunch and ending with a local band’s show, some touristy wandering in between. She’s excited, to experience the city instead of just glimpsing it on the way to work, but more than that to enjoy Mina without deadlines or distractions. </p>
<p>Except when she texts Mina that morning to confirm, Mina is noncommittal to the point of ridiculousness.</p>
<p><em>Are you trying to get me to cancel?</em> Nayeon sends, mostly joking.</p>
<p>The typing indicator blinks on and off and on again.</p>
<p>
  <em>Maybe.</em>
</p>
<p>That’s the whole of Mina’s response. Anger flares in Nayeon: is that really all Mina thinks she’s worth? A one word non-answer? </p>
<p>Nayeon is tempted to leave it there, to lose herself to righteous indignation. But she remembers how excited Mina was about their plans yesterday, so she takes a slow breath and switches to video call. </p>
<p>“Mina, what the hell?” Nayeon says when it goes through. </p>
<p>Most of Mina’s face is hidden; there’s just forehead and an eyebrow and a glimmer of iris visible at the bottom of the frame. Nayeon swats away a stray thought about how cute she is.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry,” Mina says, voice low and gravelly. It’s not her normal tone – she sounds off, sick or upset, and it takes the force out of Nayeon’s anger. </p>
<p>“Wait, are you ok?”</p>
<p>“Depends on your definition of ok.”</p>
<p>Mina sniffs, and her grip on the phone wavers, and Nayeon catches enough of her face to see that she’s crying. </p>
<p>“Mina. What’s going on?”</p>
<p>“I can’t go out and be around lots of people today.”</p>
<p>“Ok. Did something happen?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know. It’s hard to talk about on the phone.”</p>
<p>“Then can I come over? You don’t have to say yes but if it would help to talk I want to be there. Or we could not talk if that’s better, I’d just sit and be quiet. You could even make me watch another action movie.”</p>
<p>“You hate action movies.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, but I like you more.” </p>
<p>“…ok. Come over.”</p>
<p>“You’re sure? I want to see you but if it’ll make things worse-”</p>
<p>“No, come. I can’t do the world today, but. Just you sounds nice.”</p>
<p>;;</p>
<p>Mina answers the door draped in blankets, looking so small and soft Nayeon can barely stand it. She goes in for a hug then jerks back, remembering she read somewhere that touch can compound anxiety.</p>
<p>“Sorry, is it ok to hug you? I don’t know the rules here.”</p>
<p>Mina’s smile is small but fond.</p>
<p>“If I’m in the middle of a panic attack, no. Afterwards, yes.”</p>
<p>“So right now…?” Mina burrows into Nayeon’s arms. “Yes hugs, got it. I can do that.”</p>
<p>They lay on Mina’s couch beneath the blanket shield, Nayeon spooning Mina from behind. Nayeon has the urge to envelop her, to protect her from whatever caused this, and she wraps Mina up in her body, hand resting on her stomach and leg thrown over her hip.  </p>
<p>A Marvel movie is playing on the TV in the corner. Nayeon would usually tease Mina for having such basic taste but right now that’s not the important thing.</p>
<p>“Can you tell me what happened?” Nayeon says softly.</p>
<p>Mina tenses, but Nayeon just rubs her thumb back and forth over the skin where Mina’s shirt is riding up. Lets silence collect until Mina breaks it. </p>
<p>“I haven’t been sleeping well this week. Our investigator turned up some things that look bad in the Kang case – I think I told you about it? The pro bono one? – and I’ve been trying to figure out options, but. There aren’t any good ones. I really was looking forward to today, but I only slept two hours and woke up with the worst headache and it wouldn’t go away. And then I started worrying about disappointing you and, well. You saw the rest.” </p>
<p>Nayeon tucks Mina’s hair behind her ear, leaning around to kiss her cheek. </p>
<p>“Thanks for explaining. I know you don’t like to talk about this stuff, and I appreciate it.”</p>
<p>Mina twists to face Nayeon.</p>
<p>“You're not mad?”</p>
<p>“I’m a little sad that you were going to cancel without telling me any of that. But no, I’m not mad. You’ve seen me mid breakdown, I get the world being overwhelming sometimes. Besides, you’re too pretty to stay mad at. How do you look even more gorgeous after you’ve been crying?" Nayeon pokes Mina's cheek. It's enjoyably squishy. "Do you still have that headache?”</p>
<p>“It’s not as bad, but yeah.”</p>
<p>Nayeon moves her hand to Mina’s temple, fingers pressing down experimentally. Mina’s eyes close and she lets out an involuntary groan.</p>
<p>“I take it that’s good?” Nayeon says, propping herself up for a better angle. </p>
<p>“I can hear you being smug.” </p>
<p>“I think I’ve earned smug, judging from how you can’t keep your eyes open.”</p>
<p>Nayeon keeps up the massage, tracing along Mina’s hairline, finding the pressure points at the base of her skull. She melts into Nayeon, body losing all tension, and Nayeon thinks she's fallen asleep by the time she mumbles:</p>
<p>“If you keep doing that I might never let you leave.”</p>
<p>“Good,” Nayeon says, and keeps this part to herself: she can imagine never wanting to.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. IV</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Nayeon thinks about love.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>here's the last part, i think y'all will enjoy this one. there's some (fade to black) sex in the first scene so i'm bumping the rating up. idk that it needs it, but the overall vibe of this fic is kind of M anyway.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Nayeon wakes up to warmth.</p>
<p>That’s her first impression: warmth everywhere, so deep and thorough she can’t imagine the possibility of cold. She burrows into the feeling and the surface beneath her rumbles, with a sound that resolves into laugher. </p>
<p>She’s lying on a person, she realizes, which is disconcerting until her brain clicks into gear. </p>
<p>Mina. Nayeon came over to comfort-slash-interrogate Mina and from the feel of things she never left. They’re still on Mina’s couch, her head tucked under Mina’s chin and ear pressed into her chest.</p>
<p>It’s ridiculously comfortable, being with Mina like this, and Nayeon clings to the edge of sleep just to have an excuse not to move. </p>
<p>Mina laughs again.</p>
<p>“What?” Nayeon grumbles, keeping her eyes closed. </p>
<p>“You’re cute.”</p>
<p>This is a true statement, but Nayeon isn’t sure which of her many charms provoked it now. </p>
<p>Curiosity pulls her the final step into awakeness. She lifts her head, blinking to adjust to the world beyond Mina’s t-shirt. </p>
<p>Mina is looking at her softly, a glint to her eyes.</p>
<p>“Hi,” Nayeon says. “I fell asleep.”</p>
<p>“I did too. I only woke up a few minutes ago.”</p>
<p>“So you’ve been watching me since then?”</p>
<p>“I mean. I didn’t have much of a choice with you trapping me here.”</p>
<p>Mina’s words are nonchalant but her cheeks go pink. It’s adorable, and Nayeon grins – Mina’s blush alone is worth being awake. </p>
<p>“You’re allowed, you know. We’re dating, you can watch. You can do more than watch.”</p>
<p>Nayeon lets her tone dip into suggestive, and Mina’s hand stills on her hip. Which makes Nayeon realize it had been moving, tracing the contour of her side.  </p>
<p>It’s a good feeling, Mina’s hand. </p>
<p>Really good, now that she’s focused on it. </p>
<p>An itch starts up low in her stomach. She didn’t have real intent when she made that comment but it’s there now, drawing strength from all the places she can feel Mina, from the way Mina’s warmth simmers into her skin. They’ve talked a lot in the past few weeks, but there hasn’t been opportunity for more physical things. And, Nayeon thinks, it’s time to remedy that.</p>
<p>There’s a long, tension-filled moment where they just stare at each other. Then Nayeon slides a hand under Mina’s shirt, testing her reaction. </p>
<p>Mina’s breath catches, and it’s such a pretty sound that no force in the world could stop Nayeon from kissing her. </p>
<p>As she leans in, Nayeon has plans to go slow and careful, to make sure Mina is up for it after everything from this morning. But from the second their lips connect Mina kisses like a wildfire: urgent and consuming, threatening the limits of control. </p>
<p>Though it’s tempting to go along for the ride, Nayeon decides that this time, no. She moves so she’s hovering over Mina, pulls out of reach when Mina tries to deepen the kiss.</p>
<p>“Come here,” Mina says, frustration in her voice.</p>
<p>Nayeon smirks, then arranges her face into exaggerated contemplation.</p>
<p>“I don’t know. Have you earned it?”</p>
<p>(She gets why Mina pulled away, the first time they were in this position. That doesn’t mean she can’t get revenge.) </p>
<p>“Nayeon. Please.”</p>
<p>The sight of Mina below her, begging, is among the best things Nayeon’s ever witnessed. It also deserves a reward, so Nayeon bends to kiss Mina’s neck, slides her hand further up Mina’s shirt. </p>
<p>It turns out Mina isn’t wearing a bra, so there’s nothing to stop Nayeon from drawing lazy circles around her nipple, not quite touching anywhere that would really feel good. </p>
<p>“Of course you’re a tease,” Mina says. She almost loses the words halfway through, voice thick and eyes cloudy with want. For someone so restrained in reaction Mina’s body is saying a lot now, and Nayeon revels in having caused this. </p>
<p>“Yeah,” Nayeon says, dodging again when Mina tries to kiss her. “But you’re not going to be complaining in a minute.”</p>
<p>“Why is that?” </p>
<p>Nayeon slides down Mina, looks up from between her thighs. </p>
<p>“I have excellent follow through.”</p>
<p>;;</p>
<p>Later, they lie intertwined in Mina’s bed. </p>
<p>Mina is wonderfully bare and unselfconscious about it, making no move for the sheets pooling around their ankles. Nayeon thought she might be shy but then she has no reason to be: her body is exquisite, and if Nayeon has been imagining it for a while the reality of her is overwhelming. </p>
<p>Nayeon can’t keep her hands to herself. Admittedly she’s not trying hard, but Mina hums in contentment at her touch so why would she.</p>
<p>“Hey,” Nayeon says, trailing fingers down Mina’s side. Watching goosebumps rise in their wake. “Can I talk to you about something? It’s not bad, but it’s not really mood appropriate.”</p>
<p>“Sure. What’s up?”</p>
<p>“Have you heard that Sunmi is leaving JYP?”</p>
<p>“No,” Mina says, eyes sharpening. “Is she?”</p>
<p>Nayeon nods. She explains Sunmi’s offer, how surprised she was, how she doesn’t know if she should take it.</p>
<p>“What would you do?” Nayeon says at the end.</p>
<p>Mina sits up and thinks for a while, biting her lip in contemplation.</p>
<p>“I would stay,” Mina says, and Nayeon’s heart falls. Hearing that answer, she realizes she wanted a different one. Still, Mina’s smart, and Nayeon is about to dismiss her own reaction when Mina continues: “But you and I are different. I like the structure of a big firm, and the safety of having other people to speak for me. Being a figurehead would stress me out. I could see you doing really well with it, though.”</p>
<p>“So you think I could do it? Start a firm with her?”</p>
<p>“Of course you could.”</p>
<p>Mina’s answer is immediate; Nayeon is taken aback by the confidence of it. </p>
<p>“Really? It feels like such a risk. I know what the next 30 years would look like working at JYP. Striking out somewhere new, though.” She shrugs. “If I fail, there’s no safety net.”</p>
<p>Mina doesn’t say anything in response, but it looks like she wants to.</p>
<p>“What are you thinking?” Nayeon says.</p>
<p>“It’s just…do you know they mention you at JYP orientation? Nayeon the ace, the one we should all aspire to be. Stay if it feels right but you don’t need JYP for safety. If things go wrong, you’ll figure it out. Your friends will be there to help, and I will, too. If that’s what you want.”</p>
<p>Mina’s voice goes soft at the end. Inexplicable tears prick at Nayeon’s eyes.</p>
<p>“That’s…thank you. I don’t even know how to say what that means.” </p>
<p>“Have you talked to Jihyo and Jeongyeon about this?”</p>
<p>“I want to, but I haven’t been able to figure out how.”</p>
<p>It's complicated, because Nayeon has known them both since law school and for so long they’ve been the only people she let all the way in. Law is a constant tightrope walk of vulnerability – who to show it to, under what circumstances. While stress and context bonds Nayeon to her coworkers, they’re also always competing: one person’s misfortune is another’s opportunity. </p>
<p>It’s never felt like that with Jihyo and Jeongyeon. Back in school, after their first week of classes, they made a drunken pact to end up partners at the same firm. Promises made when you barely know each other rarely hold true, but they've tended this one through the years. And Nayeon can’t help but feel that taking Sunmi’s offer would mean breaking it.  </p>
<p>“You should try to talk to them,” Mina says. “You did a good job telling me and I think they’ll understand. And if they get mad I’ll beat them up for you.”</p>
<p>That surprises Nayeon into laughter.</p>
<p>“You. Beat someone up.” Mina raises a fist and glares, and though she’s skinny as anything she projects steel. Nayeon swallows. That look has some unintended effects. “Ok yes, I believe you 1000% now. Unrelatedly, I’m going to kiss you again.”</p>
<p>;;</p>
<p>They spend all weekend together. Nayeon cancels her Sunday commitments and the world doesn’t end, so she starts blocking off one day each weekend for Mina. Mina clears her own schedule without complaint, but just to be sure Nayeon asks:</p>
<p>“This isn’t too much?” </p>
<p>“You’re my girlfriend. You can have one day a week.”</p>
<p>“I just want to check! I feel like you might not tell me if I ask too much of you.”</p>
<p>“I would.”</p>
<p>“Really?”</p>
<p>Mina starts to say yes. Pauses, looking less sure.</p>
<p>“Well. I might?”</p>
<p>“And that’s why I’ll keep asking.”</p>
<p>A routine grows up around them. They don’t talk much at work – it’s easier for Nayeon to focus if she separates public and private – but they don’t hide anything either, and after they come in together a few times office gossip catches on. Within a month Nayeon has a favorite hoodie to steal at Mina’s place and her own kitchen is stocked with ketchup. (It’s one of her least favorite condiments, but you try withstanding Mina’s sad look.) </p>
<p>They watch a lot of movies together, which is funny because they only have semi-compatible taste. Still, Nayeon can withstand a lot of stupid chase scenes if she gets to cuddle Mina. </p>
<p>One weekend it’s Nayeon’s turn to pick, so of course she goes romantic comedy. </p>
<p>In the climactic scene, Mina yawns. </p>
<p>“I’m sorry,” Nayeon says. “Is love boring you?”</p>
<p>“That’s not love.” </p>
<p>Mina’s eyebrows are doing an adorable scrunch of disdain, and Nayeon almost gets distracted by it. But, with immense effort of will, she focuses on the subject at hand: how incredibly off base Mina is.</p>
<p>“Excuse you? He just gave up his entire future for her, so that she could get her happily ever after!”</p>
<p>“Exactly. That’s a fantasy. Love is having to actually live out the hard parts.”</p>
<p>Mina says it with such conviction, in a way that feels intimate and familiar. Nayeon forgets about the movie.</p>
<p>“It sounds like you’ve been in love.”</p>
<p>Mina nods carefully.</p>
<p>“Once. She was an artist.” </p>
<p>This is a significant revelation, one deserving patience and care, but it’s catching Nayeon by surprise after a long week. She falls back on humor. </p>
<p>“So you like them starving and broody?” Nayeon affects a painter impression, complete with a (terrible) French accent. Mina pushes at her shoulder, laughter breaking the not-quite-awkwardness. “We should’ve met in college though, I had such a beret phase.”</p>
<p>And that could've been it, but as that movie finishes and they start on another the thought lingers in Nayeon’s mind. </p>
<p>Mina has been in love. </p>
<p>And Nayeon, well. She likes the aesthetics of love, but she can’t say she’s really experienced it. </p>
<p>She’s dated people, and liked some of them a lot, but love – overwhelming, devastating, world-remaking – has always fluttered just out of reach. It’s like when she’s building a case but can’t find the right precedent: she can imagine how everything is supposed to work, but in practice the pieces don’t come together. </p>
<p>For example, her longest relationship was with a doctor, a girl who started residency as Nayeon was finishing law school. They worked well together – the doctor was pretty and funny and financially stable – but it never developed beyond that. Toward the end Nayeon would forget about her. Not in the way of cheating, but if she was going to a party Jeongyeon seemed just as good as a plus one. </p>
<p>Eventually the doctor said: “Should we end this? You don’t seem invested.”  </p>
<p>Nayeon took the out. They stayed Instagram friends and before long the doctor had a new model girlfriend, and Nayeon felt relief seeing them together. It was good to know she hadn’t accidentally broken anyone’s heart.  </p>
<p>Thinking back now, her feet tucked under Mina’s legs, it’s weird to contemplate. She’s only known Mina a few months but forgetting her already feels impossible. </p>
<p>“Hey,” Mina says, pulling Nayeon from her thoughts. “You ok? You didn’t laugh when the overconfident asshole got shot down.”</p>
<p>“Sorry, just thinking.” Mina tilts her head, invitation but not demand. Nayeon decides she has nothing to lose. “Will you tell me more about her? The artist?”</p>
<p>“Are you jealous?”</p>
<p>“It’s not that, I just. Want to know.”</p>
<p>Mina still seems suspicious, weighing her answer before she speaks. Nonetheless, it's revealing:</p>
<p>“She was easy to be around. And she could find beauty in anything, see what most people couldn’t or didn’t want to. I really admired that about her.”</p>
<p>They’re just normal words in normal patterns, but there’s a depth to them Nayeon desperately wants to understand. Mina made a home in this person, it’s clear in the way she speaks, and Nayeon’s chest gets tight with something she can’t name. </p>
<p>“How did it end?”</p>
<p>“She got an artist-in-residence spot in another city. She asked me to come with her, but school was here and I didn’t want to transfer.” Mina shrugs. “I was worried following her would make me too dependent.”</p>
<p>Nayeon wants to ask more but she doesn’t know what or how, and besides that Mina looks uncomfortable. So she tackles Mina into the blankets instead, pulling her so close there’s no room for doubt to creep in.</p>
<p>;;</p>
<p>“What are you up to next weekend?” Mina says as they’re waiting in line at a café. </p>
<p>That question means Mina wants to propose something. </p>
<p>The catch, Nayeon has discovered, is that she won’t if Nayeon mentions even the vaguest of plans. Mina hates imposing far more than missing out on something she herself wants. It took a lot of trial and error for Nayeon to pin this down: they missed a Nutcracker performance by Mina’s favorite ballet company because Nayeon said she might stay home and eat tteokbokki in pajamas. Which is also fun, but way more flexible in terms of scheduling. </p>
<p>Now, though, Nayeon knows to say:</p>
<p>“Not much. What’s up?”</p>
<p>“Some of the people I dance with are going out downtown and they want to meet you. If you’re interested.”</p>
<p>Nayeon perks up. She knows a little about Mina’s relationship to dance – Mina was serious about it as a kid, then took a break, then got back into it to manage stress during law school – but she’s never seen Mina in action. </p>
<p>“Going out like clubbing?” Mina nods. “Yeah, sounds fun. As long as I won’t cramp your style.”</p>
<p>At that point they reach the front of the line, and coffee takes precedence over further details.  </p>
<p>Eventually Mina gives her a day and time, but she’s weirdly cagey about everything else.  </p>
<p>On the night of, Nayeon squeezes herself into a little black dress and breaks out her favorite lipstick. She looks great, but she’s nervous: Mina is protective of her non-work life, and getting invited into a new part of it feels like a big deal. Nayeon doesn’t want to mess up.</p>
<p>Mina comes over so they can uber together, and how she’s dressed doesn’t help: her hair swings from a high ponytail, and she looks expensive in a way that Nayeon finds equally attractive and intimidating. </p>
<p>She reminds herself that she already has the girl, but that only settles her stomach halfway.</p>
<p>Mina holds her hand on the ride to the club, smiling to herself about something. When they arrive, a group of people is waiting on the sidewalk: a couple of bleached blonde men, a girl in a leather jacket, and in front, throwing her arms around Mina, is none other than a fellow JYP employee.</p>
<p>“Momo?” </p>
<p>“Hey Nayeon! Nice to see you out of the office!”</p>
<p>Releasing Mina, Momo hugs Nayeon like nothing about this is a surprise. Nayeon sputters against her shoulder.</p>
<p>“What? You two are friends?”</p>
<p>Momo pats her reassuringly, then turns to Mina and pulls a bill out of her pocket.</p>
<p>“I can’t believe you pulled it off,” Momo says.</p>
<p>Nayeon takes in the exchange, and the smug grin on Mina’s face.</p>
<p>“What did you pull off?”  </p>
<p>“Momo bet me I wouldn’t be able to keep her a secret,” Mina says. “You know, in that you already know one of the people I dance with.”</p>
<p>Nayeon mentally walks through the merits of responding to this like a reasonable adult. Then finds herself slapping Mina's arm over and over as laughter ripples through the group behind them. </p>
<p>“You scared me, I thought something was wrong! Don’t do that again!”</p>
<p>“I’m sor-,” Mina tries.</p>
<p>“And I got so nervous about tonight!”</p>
<p>“Nayeon-”</p>
<p>“All for a stupid bet!”</p>
<p>Mina grabs Nayeon’s face and kisses her. Afterward, Nayeon is still mad but willing to listen to a sentence or two. Mina kisses well enough to get that much. </p>
<p>“I’m sorry,” Mina says. “Let me make it up to you. I’ll buy your drinks all night.”</p>
<p>“And my food.”</p>
<p>“And your food.”</p>
<p>Nayeon resolves to sulk anyway, but by the time she’s through a cosmo she’s enjoying herself too much to bother. They all drink and dance and Mina’s friends are nice, but the better thing is seeing how she is with them. If Mina is still quieter than most there’s no hesitation to her here: she says what she wants, darting into conversations to make a joke or land a teasing blow. There’s a lived-in comradery to the way the group talks and moves, and it makes Nayeon glad that Mina has this.</p>
<p>Even if it's their fault Mina pranked her. </p>
<p>Around midnight, Nayeon goes next door with Momo for a pizza break. </p>
<p>“You care about Mina, right?” Nayeon says, halfway through a slice. </p>
<p>Momo looks up from the food in alarm, the picture of deer in headlights.</p>
<p>“I’m not trying to date her, I promise.”</p>
<p>Nayeon snorts, nearly choking herself in the process. </p>
<p>“Not like that. I mean you’re really her friend. You wouldn’t let her disappear out of your life without a fight.”</p>
<p>“Of course.” Momo gets worried again. “Does she not know that? I have to tell her.”</p>
<p>Momo gulps down the rest of her pizza in two giant bites and runs back toward the club. Nayeon shrugs and takes her time finishing, figuring Mina deserves whatever is about to happen. </p>
<p>When Nayeon returns, she finds Mina at a booth in the back. There’s pink lipstick all over her face and Momo is snoring on her shoulder. </p>
<p>“I take it you had something to do with this,” Mina says.</p>
<p>“What happened?”</p>
<p>“She came over to give me a hundred kisses of eternal platonic love. Fell asleep somewhere around 20.”</p>
<p>Nayeon doesn’t bother suppressing her laughter.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry,” Nayeon says, through a last giggle. “I wasn’t trying to interfere. It just seems like you’ve got good people in your life, and I wanted to make sure.”</p>
<p>Mina pats the seat next to her not occupied by Momo. Nayeon takes it, leaning automatically into Mina’s side. </p>
<p>“Thank you,” Mina says.</p>
<p>“For what?”</p>
<p>“I do have good people. I’m in a pretty good place all around these day, but fear can still get the better of me. It happens less when you’re around.”</p>
<p>It’s a strange moment to fall in love, in the back of a club with another girl’s lipstick all over Mina. But Nayeon’s heart is warm and there’s a new feeling bubbling up in her, one she thinks she knows the name to. </p>
<p>;;</p>
<p>When Nayeon works up the nerve to talk to Jeongyeon and Jihyo, it’s all very anticlimactic.</p>
<p>“Oh yeah, we know Sunmi’s leaving,” Jihyo says. “I thought you might take off with her.”</p>
<p>“Wait, does that mean you’re going? Both of you?” </p>
<p>“Jihyo’s staying at JYP for a while, and I’ve got a different offer. I don’t know if I’ll take it yet, but you’ll know when I do.”</p>
<p>Nayeon furrows her brows.</p>
<p>“But we’re all still ok, right?”</p>
<p>“Of course,” Jeongyeon says. “We’re going to have a firm together someday.”</p>
<p>“Exactly,” Jihyo agrees. “And in the meantime I’m going to destroy you both in court.”</p>
<p>;;</p>
<p>Confusingly, Mina starts watching romances of her own free will.</p>
<p>The first time Nayeon catches her is a Sunday morning, when Nayeon woke up early and went out to get them a café breakfast. (She attempted cooking for Mina exactly once, and while no one died the pan got so scorched all parties agreed she should never do it again.) She comes back to find Mina nursing coffee at the kitchen table, looking disturbed by something playing on her laptop.</p>
<p>“What’re you watching?” Nayeon says, peeking over Mina’s shoulder at the screen.</p>
<p>Which Mina slams shut immediately. </p>
<p>“Nothing.”</p>
<p>“Well that’s not suspicious at all. What is it, porn? And you didn’t even invite me.” </p>
<p>Mina sighs, letting Nayeon reopen the computer. </p>
<p>“Wait, I know that scene. This is <em>Love Actually</em>. What happened, are you sick?” Nayeon feels her forehead. “Did someone replace my girlfriend with a romance loving clone?”</p>
<p>Mina whines, clearly embarrassed, and buries her head in her arms.</p>
<p>“Leave it alone just this once, ok?”</p>
<p>“Ok, but I’m watching you.”</p>
<p>There are more incidents, their frequency escalating as February arrives. Nayeon keeps track but doesn’t pry: each time Mina gets caught she blushes so hard Nayeon thinks she might actually explode.</p>
<p>On February 14, Nayeon discovers the secret.</p>
<p>She takes the elevator down at the end of work, a little miffed she hasn’t heard from Mina all day, only to find the object of her thoughts waiting in the lobby.</p>
<p>She’s wearing a suit and tie and holding a giant bouquet of roses. Nayeon drops her bag in shock. </p>
<p>“Since you like cliches,” Mina says. “I thought I’d get you some.”</p>
<p>“You look so good in a suit, why have I never seen this before?” </p>
<p>Nayeon straightens Mina’s already perfect jacket, because she needs a safe way to touch Mina. Without an outlet she might do something rash, like taking Mina against the wall with random pedestrian traffic as audience.</p>
<p>“Sorry I’m late!” comes a familiar voice from across the lobby. Nayeon looks over to see Jihyo power-walking toward them with a garment bag in hand.</p>
<p>“Is that…”</p>
<p>“A fancy dress for you to change into so we match? Yes.”</p>
<p>“This is ridiculous,” Nayeon says, beyond thrilled. </p>
<p>“It came up a lot, in my research. I figured it was an important trope to hit.”</p>
<p>Of course Mina’s romance films were research. Nayeon grabs her tie, overcome by how endearing that is, and tugs until Mina kisses her.</p>
<p>“Thank you,” Nayeon says when they break apart. “I really like this. Really. Really really." </p>
<p>Mina smiles.</p>
<p>“There’s more.”</p>
<p>At that point Jihyo arrives; Nayeon takes the bag giddily and goes to change. Her dress is floor length and black with a slit up the side, and the way Mina looks at her when she reappears makes clear this feature isn’t just for her. </p>
<p>They go to dinner at an upscale Italian restaurant, the kind where you have to reserve a table a month in advance. The food and wine are spectacular, but they pale in comparison to the fact that Mina arranged all of this.</p>
<p>Mina, who doesn’t like crowds or occasions. Mina, who would rather be playing a game at home.  </p>
<p>Mina, who did all this anyway. </p>
<p>“I love this,” Nayeon says, when they’re picking at remnants of dinner. “But you know that you didn’t have to, right?”</p>
<p>Mina’s eyes get serious. </p>
<p>“You’ve been so careful with me. I love that about you, but I wanted to show you that things don’t always have to be on my terms. We can do what you like, too, even if it’s a bunch of cliches out of romcoms I don’t understand. You’re the important part, the rest is negotiable.”</p>
<p>That feeling is back with a vengeance, raging through Nayeon's chest, and by now she knows what it is.</p>
<p>She hadn't thought it was possible to feel like this, so deeply you can’t see to the other side of it. It's like an ocean of fondness is trying to fit inside her body, and she can't imagine holding it in. So she doesn’t try. </p>
<p>“I love you,” Nayeon says, and immediately panics at the stakes of saying it. “Oh god, I didn’t mean to blurt that. Not that I don’t feel it, I do, I love you so much, but you don’t have to say it back. I just needed to get it out, I think. Although maybe you could say something – like literally any words – because I’m spiraling a little bit here and wow this is scarier than it looks in the movies.”</p>
<p>“Nayeon.” Mina's smile is so bright it calms her a fraction. “You ruined the last surprise.”</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“There’s a cake that says 'I love you' in icing. It’s going to be out in ten minutes.”</p>
<p>“Oh my god, that’s terrible.”</p>
<p>“I know. Believe me, I know. This one still kind of hurts me when I think about it.”</p>
<p>Nayeon laughs so hard she starts crying. Mina's eyes look teary, too.</p>
<p>When they’ve both calmed down, Mina reaches for her hand.</p>
<p>“Anyway, since I can’t say it through cake. I love you too. I hope you’ll spend a long time ruining my surprises.”</p>
<p>;;</p>
<p>A few months later, before the first trial for her new firm, Nayeon goes to the out-of-the-way bathroom on the courthouse’s third floor. Looking in the mirror at her reflection, she thinks about the case and how she can win it. Imagines the people who’ll be waiting for her afterwards, regardless of whether she wins or loses.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>and that's it. thanks for coming along with me, y'all. i hadn't written in a while and this was a fun one. imagine i'll be back with more twice, though not sure what or when.</p>
<p>twt: <a href="https://twitter.com/leaderline97">@leaderline97</a><br/>cc: <a href="https://curiouscat.me/manusinistra">@manusinistra</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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